Pedicures are an unnecessary luxury I thought I would never waste my time or money on. I don’t like people touching my feet, much less massaging them and giving them facials. It just seemed pointless to pamper a part of my body most people will never pay attention to or see – unless they have a fetish or check out my shoes. Why should I get a pedicure?
Because I have ugly feet.
It didn't matter to me as I could mask the imperfections with lotion and polish. It worked until a few weeks ago, when I received a gift basket (from my boyfriend) with foot spa stuff which included a stone, scrubby-thingy on a paddle. I’m honestly not sure if it was a hint, but I decided to treat myself to a 'do it yourself' pedicure. How hard could it be? Turns out, it's pretty hard if you don't know what you're doing. I ended up making my foot situation even worse – rendering me to require professional help.
Enter Salon Nails in the food court of the mall: a very ghetto-posh, Asian run, mini-spa that can take care of all your grooming needs from brow shaping to nails and feet. It was there I was introduced to Jason*. Jason is a talented nail and foot technician and a man of few words – in English. However, he took one look at my feet, one at my face, and again at my feet and shook his head.
“You a pretty girl, but you feet is all jacked up.”
I know this, Jason, that’s why I’m here.
“I do my best. You have boyfriend?”
Why yes, I do. *blush*
“How you boyfriend still around wit you feet like dat?”
Jason has a sense of humor, not unlike Dat Phan from Last Comic Standing. It's good that I can laugh at myself.
“Alright, what spa-pedicure package would you like?”
There were three different pedicure packages priced as follows:
$20 – for pretty feet that just want to be cleaned up.
$25 – for feet that might need more attention.
$35 – for my feet. This was the all-out, exfoliating, skin softening, toe-nail clipping and filing, total feet reconstruction package.
After looking at the price list, and mentally calculating available funds, I asked for the $20 treatment. Jason, who had been examining my feet to survey the extent of work that would be needed, looked up at me over the rim of his reading glasses while rolling up my pant legs and placing my feet in the spa water.
“You sure ‘bout dat? You have all dis hard skin and cuticle that need to come off. The 20 dollar package only inlcude basic wash, trim and polish. I thought you want you feet fixed.”
Okay … then the $25.
Jason raised his eyebrows.
Alright, fine, the $35 package. You better make my feet look like foot models, Jason.
“Good choice, now maybe you have chance to keep boyfriend.”
He’s a funny guy.
Jason proceeded to apply some kind of spa stuff to my feet, one at a time and scrubbed them until it tickled and I had to jerk my feet away from him. Then he produced a utensil that looked to be a cross between a spoon, a bottle opener and a cheese grater – and went after the calloused skin on the bottom of my feet. Get it, Jason! This probably took the longest and included periodic glances up at me so he could give me the “this is what happen when you not take care of you feet” look. When he was done skinning my feet, he masked my legs, soaked my feet in hot wax and then painted my toenails red.
“It’s a pretty color, you boyfriend like.”
I’m not going to lie, my feet looked amazing when Jason finished his artful restoration of skin and toenails. They were smooth and shiny and soft and pink and – I was wondering if they did full body treatments. Jason seemed impressed with his own work. He even smiled at me.
Then it was like something occurred to Jason.
“Let me see you finger nails.”
I didn’t want to, I could tell I wasn’t going to get out of there without getting a manicure.
“Tsk. Come sit in chair, I give you full set, 19 dollar.”
But I don’t really want long nails, I have to typ-
“You gonna lose you boyfriend if you not take care of you hand and feet. I do manicure free wit full set.”
How can I argue with free. According to Jason, men like well groomed women and even though I clean up well, the day to day of being me doesn’t include a lot of time to make sure I look like a model. Maybe with fancy feet and nails, I can at least look like I put in more of an effort than I actually do.
So, I let Jason give me porn star nails at a working class length. When I left the salon two hours after I got there, I had perfect hands and feet. My hair and eyebrows were pretty jacked, but those would have to wait for another day. Although I love the superficial upgrades to my extremities, I am not sure I can affored the rdent in my bank account on a regular.
*name changed, however I am sure his name wasn't Jason when he entered the United States.
