Remember when you were growing up and you thought your parents just did things because they could and not because there was a good reason? Then you would promise yourself after every punishment that when you have kids, things would be different. You wouldn't say no to them, they could eat whatever they wanted including all the ice cream and candy they could fit in their tummies and you would never stop them from going to late night parties that were not chaperoned and they could wear anything they wanted because that's how they would express themselves as individuals. Now that you're all grown up and dealing with one or more kids of your own, everything that your parents ever said and did makes so much more sense now, doesn't it? There was a method to their madness. You realize you are becoming your parents and it's kind of scary.
10. "Turn that crap down!" Just like you scoffed at the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin albums your parents praised against the sounds of Def Leppard and Bel Biv Devoe, your kids blast Ke$ha and Justin Bieber to your classic rock and R&B sounds that they don't realize inspired a lot of their generation's music.
9. "You are not leaving the house looking like you are homeless or ready to work on the boulevard." Madonna and Cyndi Lauper inspire us to be creative when looking like skanks. Nowadays we have Paris Hilton, the Girls Next Door and the Olsen Twins to thank for that.
8. "You wanna drink beer and smoke? Here, go ahead, drink this 12-pack and smoke this carton of cigarettes. You wanna die, I'll help you!" Why was it that when you got caught drinking or smoking, they always made you do it to the extreme? Personally, I think it's cause they got a laugh out of it, but most of the kids I know who had to do it, ended up not smoking and drinking as they got older. So, I guess it worked.
7. "You're old enough to get a job. Go find one." When my parents first said that, I thought to myself, "Sweet. My money, I can do whatever I want." Nope, because even though I made it, I still had to get permission to spend it. It was mom and dad's way of teaching money management. But I also appreciated it more because I earned it. However, I was also expected to use it to buy school clothes and supplies. When it's your own money, you aren't as inclined to spend it as fast.
6. "If your friends jump off a bridge, you gonna follow them?" Dad's way of teaching the kids how to be their own person. Of course, at the time, we all thought it was our parent's way of keeping us from the 'in' crowd or collect on the insurance. We were never sure.
5. "I'll give you something to cry about!" Which was usually followed by something that would make you cry: restriction or a beating. Usually this was said when you started crying over not being able to do something cause your parents said no and you thought there was no reason you shouldn't be able to do it, buy it or say it. Then your kid is standing in front of you, years later, and you're in the same situation. You realize there was a reason, but you only just now got it.
4. "Believe you me, this hurts me more than it hurts you." And you wonder how exactly is the beating hurting your parents when the belt is on your ass, not theirs. Well, no parent really wants to beat their child, but some feel it's the only option. Trust me, there will be days that you really, really want to spank your kids behind for some of the stupid stuff they do. But I think that our generation figured out that long term punishment works better than a few lashes with the belt. My daughter will tell you she'd rather get a spanking than get her computer taken away.
3. The report card. Remember when you were in school and you thought it wasn't important to get a high grade as long as you were passing? Now that you have kids, you figured out it wasn't really for YOUR education that your parents were on you about, but for the bragging rights to having the smartest kid in the neighborhood. You know exactly what I'm talking about. There is not one parent who didn't teach their kids the alphabet at 2 years old and make them perform it in front of their friends while talking about the MENSA possibilities.
2. Baths. As kids, we didn't want to take them. Then we grew up and realized our social success was dependent on being presentable. Our kids become an extension of that and no one wants to look like they birthed Bebe's kids. So, like our parents before us, we become the soap police and chase our kids into cleanliness, trying to explain that no one likes a stinky ass.
1. "You will understand when you grow up and you have your own kids." I can't tell you how many times my parents said this to me and I looked at them and thought, "Pssssh. Right. It's gonna be like a party in my house, my kids are gonna do whatever they want cause I will love them." How funny is it that you realize when you have your own kids, that your parents only did all of the above because they love you? And they will always love you, no matter how grown up you get. It all makes sense now.
