Spanking: is it child abuse or a parent’s right?

I don’t spank my daughter anymore. Actually, I stopped spanking her when she was still a toddler because, as a form of discipline, it wasn’t working. Nothing made that fact more clear than when her father gave her a choice between getting a spanking or having her television privileges revoked and she weighed-in on which would be worse by asking how many spankings she would get. She was 4-years old. From that point on, we realized the more effective disciplinary action would be to start restricting her fun stuff.

But for some parents, spankings work and who are we to tell them they may not discipline their kids as they see fit? I ask this because I recently came across an article written by a woman who was abused as a child and considered calling the police on a parent who spanked her child in a public place because she felt it was child abuse. She went on to ask, “how can we work to eradicate child abuse when it’s legal to spank?” She continued to state her case by saying spanking is assault and battery, noting that there are even a few states that have passed anti-spanking laws.

Whoa. That’s a little dramatic.

Child abuse and neglect are defined by federal and state laws. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, child abuse is any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation, an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm, or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or interfamilial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children. Whew. That was a mouthful.

Let’s go ahead and break that down:

Physical Abuse
Physical abuse is generally defined as "any non-accidental, physical injury to the child" and can include striking, kicking, burning or biting, or any action that results in a physical impairment of the child. In approximately 38 states, the definition of abuse also includes acts or circumstances that threaten the child with harm or create a substantial risk of harm to the child's health or welfare.

Neglect:
Neglect is frequently defined as the failure of a parent or other person with responsibility for the child to provide needed food, clothing, shelter, medical care, or supervision such that the child's health, safety, and well-being are threatened with harm. Approximately 24 states include failure to educate the child as required by law in their definition of neglect. Seven states specifically define medical neglect as failing to provide any special medical treatment or mental health care needed by the child. In addition, four States define as medical neglect the withholding of medical treatment or nutrition from disabled infants with life-threatening conditions.

Sexual Abuse/Exploitation
All States include sexual abuse in their definitions of child abuse. Some States refer in general terms to sexual abuse, while others specify various acts as sexual abuse. Sexual exploitation is an element of the definition of sexual abuse in most jurisdictions. Sexual exploitation includes allowing the child to engage in prostitution or in the production of child pornography.

Emotional Abuse
Almost all States include emotional maltreatment as part of their definitions of abuse or neglect. Approximately 32 States provide specific definitions of emotional abuse or mental injury to a child. Typical language used in these definitions is "injury to the psychological capacity or emotional stability of the child as evidenced by an observable or substantial change in behavior, emotional response or cognition," or as evidenced by "anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or aggressive behavior."

Parental Substance Abuse
* Parental substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in some States. Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:
* Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance (14 states and the District of Columbia).
* Manufacture of a controlled substance in the presence of a child or on the premises occupied by a child (10 states).
* Allowing a child to be present where the chemicals or equipment for the manufacture of controlled substances are used or stored (three states).
* Selling, distributing, or giving drugs or alcohol to a child (seven states).
* Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child (seven states).

Abandonment
In general, it is considered abandonment of the child when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left by the parent in circumstances in which the child suffers serious harm or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or to provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.

As for anti-spanking laws, I couldn’t find one state law that prohibits a parent from spanking their children. What I did find was that some states defined what is considered abuse by whether a mark is left and how long the child sports the mark – even if it’s just a spanking. So, if you spank your child on the leg and your hand print is left longer than the state definition allows, you will be looking at a visit from child protective services if you are reported.

Most of us who are over a certain age, and even some who aren’t as old, remember getting spanked growing up. I know I do, and I can tell you that I never did the same thing twice if I got spanked for it the first time. My parents totally believed in the power of the hand on my ass to get their point across. When that didn’t work, they moved on to more effective means of discipline like taking away privileges and manual labor. It worked, I didn’t turn out too bad.

Going back to the article about the woman who wanted to report a parent for spanking a child, people should mind their own business unless they witness someone beating or mistreating a child as defined by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the law. Let me just emphasize that spanking is not considered a beating – a beating will leave a bruise. Some might argue that corporal punishment leaves an emotional scar or mark on a child that they carry into adulthood. Well, so does name-calling on the playground. Everyone has a different parenting technique which includes how they choose to discipline their children. Some believe in spankings, while others choose to try alternative methods of discipline. Some might even start with spanking and move onto something different when that doesn’t work anymore, like me and my daughter’s dad. But whatever the method, it’s a parent’s right, not anyone else’s, to decide what works for them.

EXTRA: a study conducted last year resulted in finding that children spanked up to the age of six, are likely to perform better at school as a teenager, were more likely to carry out volunteer work and to want to go to college than their peers who had never been physically disciplined.